sometimes i tell myself
"no you cant have leftover chinese for every meal"
and then i tell myself
"of course not
i have to get fresh chinese sometimes too”
Willow hasn’t quite mastered the concept of a cat door yet.
she looks so lost
if i like u and u call someone else hot i will probably fall apart
I have a dog. Her name is Bella
EVERY FUCKING TIME I TELL SOMEONE HER NAME IS BELLA THEY GO ”OH THE ONE FROM TWILIGHT”
NO YOU LIL SHIT.
MY DOG IS NAMED AFTER BELLATRIX
SHE IS THE DARK LORD’S RIGHT HAND IN BATTLE, NOT YOUR STUPID LITTLE VAMPIRE CHICK.
Text Flirting Tip: Don’t reply immediately. Play it cool, wait for a minute, then eventually forget to reply and ruin everything
she points into the woods and I’m like “what is it”
then I squinted and was just
…..wait a minute
IT’S SPELLED HEFFALUMP YOU UNCULTURED SWINE
Eat this watermelon, you fucking turtle
THIS THING IS TERRIFYING I DONT LIKE TURTLES ANY MORE
why isn’t this a thing